After over a year and a half of
dreaming, wondering, praying, waiting, praying, getting scared, chickening out,
praying, wondering, waiting, and finally realizing that I knew the answer all
along, I started my papers. In my interview with Bishop Moon on September 1,
2011, I nervously expressed my desire to start my mission papers. To my great
surprise (I don't know what I was expecting....), he grinned ear to ear, leaned
his head back kinda laughing, and then leaned forward still grinning, smacked
his hands on the table, and nearly shouted, "You are going to be
AWESOME!" Haha, I was surprised about how excited he was about me going on
a mission! I was so relieved! Then we continued to talk
for a while about my concerns, his thoughts, impressions, etc. He helped set up
my account (I was impressed that I remembered my baptism and confirmation
date...May 23, 1998!), and after a great, long talk with him (sorry people who were
waiting behind me!), I nearly skipped out of his office and to my car (her name
is Lola). I drove to the west parking lot of the temple to calm myself down,
gather my thoughts, and think about what had just happened. It was a great
feeling.
I decided to tell my parents about my
papers that night....they were happy for me. I think they had been expecting it
would happen eventually. I started my papers that very night. With the hustle
and bustle of my insane school schedule, my job at Timpview (I love that job
and those girls so much!) and distractions galore, it took me a while to
complete my papers. I didn't tell many people - I wanted to keep it on the down
low...just in case I changed my mind or something. I immediately noticed
greater adversity and resistance throughout my day, much of that I will
attribute to the adversary. He knows our weaknesses and works on us
consistently and gently. 2 Nephi 26 and 2 Nephi 28 teaches us that the devil
leads people carefully, with a flaxen (weak) cord, slowly until he binds us and
leads us to hell. Don't worry, I wasn't doing anything too sketchy! However, I
would get distracted easily, be super unmotivated to study, I'd get confused,
and doubt my decision to go. Luckily, things continued to fall into place...it
was amazing to see the small tender mercies that began to flow freely. Those
little miracles remind me that when we are diligently trying to do the right
thing, we will be blessed!
On October 3, I recorded in my journal: "Life is full of fun,
rewarding, challenging, difficult, and amazing experiences! The thoughts that
continue to weigh most heavily on my mind are those of a mission - they continue
to work on me and motivate me to improve (thank you, Holy Ghost! Keep the
purification juices coming!). After months of being fearful and scared of a
mission, I have finally conquered it! Although those feelings sometimes slip
into my mind, overall I am very excited! So excited in fact, that I want
to withdraw from all of my classes, turn in my papers, and leave in 2 weeks.
I'd love that....but its awfully unpractical."
I finally turned in my papers on October
16. I was nearly sick because I was so dang nervous for my interview with my
Stake President. Why? Because I'm a worry wart. The interview was fantastic. I
won't go into details, but I left his office feeling so good! He is a man of
God and is so in tune with the Spirit. I'm grateful to have such awesome
priesthood leaders in my ward and stake. They're a bunch of spiritual studs! I
am going to marry a man like that!!!!!
Once again, I drove to and parked myself
in my favorite parking spot in the most western lot of the temple and soaked it
all in. The words of the primary songs, "I hope they call me on a
mission" and "I love to see the temple" flowed through my
head....super cheesy, I know. But it was so appropriate as I faced the temple
and saw the missionaries walking around on the grounds taking pictures. :)
The next step? The waiting game...would
it be a week and a half? Two? Wrong. To my horror, I had to wait 3 entire weeks
to open my call....read my tales of junk in my mail box, dumb postmen, tears
(yes, I cried....three times), band tour, threats of mission call steaming and
sabotage, long drives home, and the contents of the envelope in my next blog
post. *dun dun DUNNNN!!!!!*
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